A Porn Writer
2021Artist in Residency program OAZO AIR, Amsterdam
In the last three months of 2021, the shadow of the pandemic, which has lasted for two years, still seems to hover over people's heads. During my three-month residence in OAZO, I hardly went out and seldom contacted other people, and firmly adhered to the lax prevention regulations. I was under the cloudy weather in the Netherlands and worried about my unknown life. When I saw the books on the shelf, I thought, why didn't I write a book on my own? So I started to play the role of a lonely and autistic porn writer— 'Hairy-Leg', who writes day and night in a space where he eats, lives, and works. For him, porn seems to be the simplest and most primitive self-consolation.
As a novelist, Hairy-Leg was used to writing on the couch in front of the window; he liked the green lawn outside. To his surprise, he was not as alone as he thought. He could occasionally see rats, pigeons, crows, seagulls, and an elegant stork through the shutters. When the lady upstairs threw bread down, countless birds would fly over to enjoy. Although the number of pigeons was the largest, crows and seagulls were always the overlords. When they landed, the poor pigeons could only wait cautiously. Before the birds noticed the bread, the rats' family would start their carnival first. Hairy-Leg had never seen such giant rats, which surprised him. When he stared at the animals outside the window, the leaves of the shutter seemed to become the iron railings of the prison. He thought, maybe he was even not as good as a rat.
As the one who acts the novelist, I honestly started the writing of the novel "The Dragon Tail" on an unknown Chinese literary website and published the first chapter on 10th Oct; as of now (13th Dec 2021), this novel has been collected by 2019 readers, and the novelist has also got 570 followers, and about 195 euros from the VIP chapters... I made it a softcover book and manually blacked out all the sentences to focus on 'behaviour' rather than 'content'. As another part of the immersive stage, the role of the novelist's animal friends was also crucial. I used a 3D printing pen to transform their images, which aligned with the novelist's understanding of them—an unconscious existence and unknown participation.
When we talk about the influence of the times on the individual's mental state, from a broad environment to an invisible inner world, where should we start? When real life cannot meet our internal emotional needs, 'daydreaming' seems to have become a kind of lowest-cost relief; the novelist- Hairy-Leg is just an example. I hope to explore the relationship between personal psychology and the living environment by observing tiny individuals arouse the audience's attention to their inner state, which is my original intention to create this Hairy-Leg world.
在2021年的最后三个月里，为时两年的大流行的阴影仍似乎悬浮在人们的头顶。在我在OAZO度过的三个月里，我几乎不出门，很少与其他人联系，并坚守着宽松的防疫规定。我身处荷兰的阴天之下，对未知的生活感到担忧。当我看到书架上的书时，我想，为什么我不写一本属于自己的书呢？于是，我开始扮演一个孤独而自闭的色情作家——“毛腿”，在一个吃、住、工作的空间里日夜写作。对他而言，色情似乎是最简单、最原始的自我安慰。
作为小说家，毛腿习惯于在窗前的沙发上写作；他喜欢窗外的绿草坪。令他惊讶的是，他并不像他想象的那样孤独。他偶尔可以通过百叶窗看到老鼠、鸽子、乌鸦、海鸥，还有一只优雅的鹳。当楼上的女士扔面包时，无数的鸟会飞过来享用。尽管鸽子的数量最多，但乌鸦和海鸥总是霸主。它们一落地，可怜的鸽子只能小心翼翼地等待。在鸟注意到面包之前，老鼠家族就会先开始它们的狂欢。毛腿从未见过如此巨大的老鼠，这让他感到惊讶。当他凝视着窗外的动物时，百叶窗的叶子似乎变成了监狱的铁栏。他想，也许他甚至不如一只老鼠。
作为扮演小说家的人，我诚实地开始在一个文学网站上写小说，并于10月10日发布了第一章；截至目前（2021年12月13日），这部小说已被2019名读者收藏，小说家也获得了570名关注者，以及来自VIP章节的大约195欧元……我将它制成平装书，并手动涂黑所有句子，侧重于“行为”而非“内容”。作为沉浸式舞台的另一部分，小说家的动物朋友的角色也至关重要。我使用3D打印笔改变它们的形象，与小说家对它们的理解相一致——一种无意识的存在和未知的参与。
当我们谈论时代对个体心理状态的影响时，从广阔的环境到看不见的内在世界，我们应该从哪里开始呢？当现实生活无法满足我们内在的情感需求时，“白日梦”似乎已经成为一种最低成本的宽慰；小说家——毛腿只是一个例子。我希望通过观察微小的个体引起观众对他们内在状态的关注，来探索个人心理学与生活环境之间的关系，这是我创作这个毛腿世界的初衷。
